The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really his response close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay males desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we website here cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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