The Sex Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to more information and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men wish to find out from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to you can try this out work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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