The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in city locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In i loved this addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Lots of gay males desire to find out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't important site really going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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