The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their my blog main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Numerous gay males wish to learn from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North YOURURL.com adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it right here is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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